HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
So I just feel like doing a bit of rambling today for reasons unknown, please bear with me.
Writing has been an amazing outlet. It helped tremendously in times when I felt like I was drowning and needed to pick myself up. I could not have done it without you guys, even when there are no comments on posts, I would see site stats and go at least someone out there is reading what I have to say. Then I stopped writing because I got scared.
“Is this really any good? Am I learning? Am I growing?”
At the moment, I still can’t answer these questions but hey, where’s the fun in it if I don’t keep pushing? Maybe it won’t be as exciting as when I was exploring fresh, virgin territory, because now I have to prove myself and sharpen the sword, but it still remains an area I want to develop myself in.
Starting this year on a clean slate seems like a wise way to begin. I write under a pen name, I’m not quite sure why at the moment. When I decided to work on my writing in June last year, I did not want false praise and idle flattery from friends hence the anonymity. I envisaged a situation where even if it was crap I would have people applauding my efforts simply because
“oh she’s an amazing person who is near and dear to my heart”,
“ah, I don’t want to hurt her feelings” and so on and so forth.
Looking back, perhaps it’s also because I didn’t want to bear the weight of their expectations.
“Is this the crap she delivers? I know she can do better.”
My outlook has not changed, I’m not sure I will ever be able to go about with a banner touting my work but I have decided to simply let things unfold as they may, who knows where the road may lead.
Oh, and lest I forget, I wrote about my year on Efe’s blog, you can read it here