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Funke Said

The day started out on a bright note. I woke up on the right side of the bed, and met a rainbow beaming at me through my window, as the birds chirped merrily outside. I guess they all knew how special today is, after all birthdays only come once a year. I leaned back to bask in the last few wisps of sleep, and reflected on my life up till today.
‘I have a great job, a loving boyfriend, what more could a girl ask for? I must admit there was an itsy bitsy dark cloud in the form of my boyfriend Deji’s recent, strange behavior. 25 isn’t a scary number, is it? Or maybe it’s the marriage hints I’d been dropping here and there, I’m sure they were subtle though. Oh well, I refuse to let that mar my day.’

I headed out of bed to get ready to take on all the day had to offer. When I got to my office, well wishes flew left and right as I stepped in with a jaunt in my step. At lunchtime, I was surprised with a scrumptious ice cream cake from my colleagues. Later in the day, I ignored the warning from that critter on my left shoulder about the calories as I dug in to my third slice of cake. Still, that sinking feeling would not go away, I was yet to hear from Deji and the day was nigh spent. Random thoughts circled my head as the workday ended, and I headed home.
‘What had I done wrong? Had he found someone else? Had my desire for commitment scared him off, and he was using this to chicken out? Had my expanding waistline finally scared him away?’
I remembered this time last year, where he treated me to an orgasmic culinary experience and a scenic tour of the city onboard a rented yacht, as I was serenaded by my favorite artiste.

As the evening progressed, I curled deeper and deeper into my couch, till my musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole and there he stood, tie slightly loosened like he does after a long day at work. I opened the door and assessed the picture in front of me; not a card or present in sight; my fears were being realized.
I burst out in anger “you forgot my birthday, didn’t you?”
He replied “no I didn’t, it’s just that … “
That sinking feeling intensified and I knew I did not want to hear this so I broke in “Just what? Don’t worry, I understand. I know you want to break up with me”
“Hold on”, he retorted, “when did I ….”
In the background, the pitter patter of raindrops fell in tune with the beat of my heart as I cried out “Let me save you the stress, it’s over between us. Enjoy your evening”

I slammed the door and collapsed on my couch in tears, ignoring the steadily increasing knocks on my door. Why bother hearing whatever petty excuses he has to proffer, he obviously never loved me.


Deji Said

Have you ever met someone you just know was made for you? That is how it is between my girlfriend, Funke and I. To be honest, it did not start off this way, but I can’t for the love of me, point out when I realized she was the woman for me, all of her; her crooked smile, loud opinions, sumptuous meals, everything. I had very little cause to complain and if you have ever met Funke, you would understand. She is blessed with both inner and outer virtues. Don’t get me wrong, she has her faults but I’ve come to love them too. Let me not bore you with plenty tales. Here’s the thing; today is her birthday and I racked my head long and hard about how to top all the previous birthdays. I decided to kill two birds with one stone; give her the surprise party of her life and ask her to be mine now and forever.

I conscripted all her close friends to help, and they were under strict orders not to let it slip, while inviting all her friends, past and present. The love of my life was in for the shock of her life. A smile lit my face as I pictured the look on her face when she enters the party, and turns to a Cheshire grin as I picture her tears when the slideshow ends and I go on bended knee, ring in hand. To this end, I decided not to call throughout the day to build the suspense.

I got to her place late in the evening, after stopping by the hall to ensure everything was in place, and sauntered to her door, basking in the euphoria of my plans. The day opened and I was unprepared for the conversation that ensued. She broke up with me and slammed the door in my face. I banged on the door for over an hour, with no response. Sinking down onto the front step, I pondered on what just happened
‘Did she have a bad day? Was it that time of the month? Why would she think I was not into her?’

As night fell, I walked back to my car, dejected, wondering where it went wrong and how best to resolve it.